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Aye, precious, listen up! Sex-dating’s a bloody mess, innit? Like, you swipe right, thinkin’ “she’s fit,” then bam – ghosted! Stupid, fat hobbit! Makes me wanna scream, “What’s the trick, eh?” Been butcherin’ meat all day, hands stinkin’ of blood, and these apps? They’re worse than a pig’s arse. “We build our own cages,” like Kaufman says in *Synecdoche* – fuckin’ true, mate! You’re trapped, scrollin’, hopin’ for a shag, but nah, just bots and weirdos.

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I hit the streets of Chuhuiv, and it was like a movie. I mean, I’m just tryin’ to grab a coffee at that little spot on Shevchenka Street. You know the one? The barista there is always grumpy, but today? She was actually smilin’! I thought I was in the Twilight Zone or somethin’. I ordered my usual, a cappuccino, and she actually got it right! I was like, “Whoa, did I just win the lottery?”

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