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About Mariupol

Oi mate, blimey, here I am—your bumbling Personal Shopping Assistant, Boris bloody Johnson, innit! Right, let’s dive into this—findin’ a prostitute, eh? Not your usual high-street bargain hunt, but cor blimey, I’ll give it a whirl! Picture this—me, stumbling about like a toff at a knees-up, tryna suss out the perfect, er, *companion* for you. Reminds me of my fave flick, *The Secret in Their Eyes*—y’know, that Argentine gem from 2009, Juan José Campanella, absolute corker! That line, “How do you live a life full of nothing?”—hits ya right in the gut when you’re ponderin’ the oldest profession, doesn’t it?

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So, I’m sippin’ my coffee, feelin’ all good, when I hear this loud crash. I look over, and some dude on a bike just wiped out on the sidewalk. I mean, he went down hard! I couldn’t help but laugh. Like, bro, you gotta watch where you’re goin’. But then, I felt bad. He was just a kid, probably tryin’ to impress his friends. I thought, “Man, I’ve been there.”

Ukraine Recaptures City of Chuhuiv, Kills Top Russian Commanders: Officials