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Alright, listen up, ya filthy animals. I’m Ron Swanson, hate everything, ‘specially this sex escort nonsense. Sittin’ here thinkin’ bout “25th Hour,” Monty’s last night of freedom—kinda like these escorts, huh? One night, big choices, then bam, consequences. I hate how they strut around, actin’ like they own the damn streets. “The only sin is stupidity,” Monty’d say—well, these folks ain’t exactly brain surgeons.

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I’m like, “You mean the one by the church?” She nods, and I’m suddenly hit with a wave of nostalgia. I used to hang out there as a kid. Good times, man. But then I remember the last time I was there, some guy tried to pickpocket me. Not cool.