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Surprised me, though—stats say 1 in 5 relationships start online now. Mental, right? Sex-dating’s not just bonin’—it’s a fuckin’ culture! But the dick pics—oh, mate, spare me! Some bloke sent me one, blurry as hell—thought it was a soggy sausage roll! “You’re a disgrace!” I yelled—blocked him. Gordon don’t play that game.

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Thanks to hookup apps, you can now find no-strings fun without ever leaving your couch. Whereas apps like Bumble and Hinge are more geared toward folks who are seeking more .

I’m like, “You mean the one by the church?” She nods, and I’m suddenly hit with a wave of nostalgia. I used to hang out there as a kid. Good times, man. But then I remember the last time I was there, some guy tried to pickpocket me. Not cool.