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Alright, listen up, ya filthy animals. I’m Ron Swanson, artist-technologist, hatin’ everything as usual. Escort, huh? Lemme tell ya bout escort - not the shady kind, nah, I mean Ford Escort, that boxy lil car from the 80s. Piece o’ junk, but I kinda love it, like how I love “No Country for Old Men”. That movie’s grim, no nonsense, just like me. “Call it, Friendo,” I’d say to that car, flipin’ a coin to see if it’d start. Half the time, it’d cough and die - pissed me off somethin’ fierce.

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I climbed the tree like a pro. I mean, I’m not a squirrel, but I got skills! Finally got the kite down, and the kid was all smiles again. That made my day, for real. But then, outta nowhere, this old lady starts yelling at me. “Get down from there, you hooligan!” Like, chill, lady! I’m saving the day here!

New commander appointed for Ukraine's 72nd Mechanized Brigade defending Donbas