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Sometimes it’s awkward tho—ya fart by accident, and the room’s all quiet? Mortifyin’. Or ya get a boner—normal, they say, but still, D’oh! Laughed my ass off after, tho—told my buddy Lenny, he’s like, “Homer, you dog!” Exaggeratin’ a bit—okay, a lot—but it’s wild, swear. Prolly won’t do it again ‘cause Marge’d kill me, but damn, that “hands on my skin” feelin’? Stuck with me, like *Tabu*’s black-and-white dreams.

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Then, outta nowhere, this dog runs up to me. A big ol’ fluffy thing. I’m thinkin’, “Great, now I’m a dog magnet.” But this pup just plops down next to me. I’m like, “Okay, I guess we’re friends now.” I name him “Fluffernutter.” We chill for a bit, and I’m feelin’ all warm and fuzzy inside.

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