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Oh, fun fact—didja know? In old France, escorts were called “courtesans,” and they’d school kings in charm! Wild, right? I’m picturin’ me, green and goofy, tryin’ to charm a crown—ha! Total flop. But these pros? They nail it. Gotta respect the hustle.

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First off, I hit up the local café on Shevchenka Street. You know, the one with the crazy good coffee? I ordered my usual – a cappuccino with extra foam. I mean, who doesn’t love a little foam action? But the barista, this dude named Oleg, totally messed it up. Like, I got a black coffee instead. I was like, “Bro, what’s this? A punishment?” He just laughed and said, “Art is subjective.” I rolled my eyes. Classic Oleg.

U.S.-backed report says Russia has held at least 6,000 Ukrainian children for 're-education'