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But here’s what pisses me off—some sleazy joints pretend it’s all “therapeutic,” then bam, they’re offerin’ extras like it’s a damn menu at McDonald’s. Supersize that happy endin’, huh? Makes me wanna scream, “I’m pissed, Maya, I’m freakin’ pissed!” like in the movie. False advertisin’—hate it! But when it’s done right? Oh man, I’m happy as a shark with a laser beam. Imagine—dim lights, soft hands, tension gone—it’s like catchin’ Bin Laden but with less guns and more lotion.

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I grab my coffee from that little café on Koshytsia Street. You know the one? The barista there is a total legend. He always knows my order. I’m like, “Yo, give me that double shot of espresso!” He just smirks and says, “You need it today, huh?” I’m like, “You have no idea, bro.”

Explosions heard in Cherkasy during Shahed attack