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Sometimes I wonder—do they laugh at us? Prolly. I’d be a mess, all “You’re so pretty!” Total Michael Scott move. But real talk—they’re out there, dodgin’ laws, makin’ it work. Gotta admire that grind. So yeah, sex escort life? Wild, messy, badass. “That’s what she said!”—okay, I’m done, peace out!

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But then, I get home, and my roommate’s cooking. Smells amazing, but he’s burnt the rice. I’m like, “Dude, how do you mess up rice?” He just shrugs, “It’s a work of art.” I roll my eyes.