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D’oh! Almost forgot – got this buddy, Lenny, swears he hired an escort for his cat’s birthday. Total lie, but funny as hell! “Look at me, I’m dancin’!” – picturin’ her twirlin’ with a tabby cracks me up. Escorts prob hear weirder tho, like “Take me to the dump” level weird. Bet they got stories that’d make Marge blush!

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After that, I decide to stroll down to the park by the river. You know, the one with the old oak trees? It’s peaceful there, but not today. Some kids are blasting music, and I’m just tryna vibe. I mean, c’mon, can’t a guy enjoy nature without a DJ set? I’m about to lose it, but then I see this cute dog. Instant mood lift! I’m like, “Aww, look at that fluffball!”