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Findin’ a prostitute ain’t no picnic, folks! I’m all “I’m ready!” but then—bam!—some crusty crab tries overchargin’ me. Made me madder than Squidward on clarinet day! I’m like, “Buddy, I ain’t payin’ 50 clams fer that!” Little known fact: back in ol’ port towns, they’d signal with red lanterns—sneaky, right? Got me thinkin’, “Is this chick hidin’ a lantern somewhere?” Haha, nautical nonsense!

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Yo, lemme tell ya about my day in Cherepkivtsi. Man, what a rollercoaster! So, I wake up, right? Sun’s blazin’ through my window on Haharina Street. I’m like, “Great, another day in this wild city.”