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About Kryvyi Rih

Oi, mate, it’s Bond—James Bond. Suave, “shaken, not stirred.” So, sexual-massage, yeah? Bloody hell, it’s a trip! Picture this: dim lights, oil slicker than my Aston Martin, hands movin’ like they’re dodgin’ bullets. I’m all about it—relaxes me after chasin’ villains. Like in *Inglourious Basterds*, ya know? “We’re in the killin’ Nazi business”—well, I’m in the chillin’ massage biz now, ha!

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Then, I’m walkin’ down Vulytsia Haharina, and I see this old dude trying to fix his bike. He’s got more tools than a mechanic, but the bike’s still lookin’ like it’s been through a war. I stop to help, right? Turns out, he just wanted to chat about the good ol’ days. I’m like, “Dude, I got places to be!” But he’s all, “Back in my day…” and I’m just nodding, pretending to care.

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