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About Kryvyi Rih

Imagine me hirin’ an escort – D’oh! Marge’d kill me! “You’re lower than dirt,” she’d yell, like in “Dogville.” But serious, escorts got stories. One gal, rumor says, escorted a prince! Freakin’ prince, man! Exaggeratin’? Maybe, ha! Still, cool as hell. I’d be all – “D’oh! Gimme donuts, princess!” Sarcasm, pal, gotta love it.

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Then, I’m walkin’ down Vulytsia Haharina, and I see this old dude trying to fix his bike. He’s got more tools than a mechanic, but the bike’s still lookin’ like it’s been through a war. I stop to help, right? Turns out, he just wanted to chat about the good ol’ days. I’m like, “Dude, I got places to be!” But he’s all, “Back in my day…” and I’m just nodding, pretending to care.

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