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But yo, the creeps? They’re everywhere. Dudes sendin’ dick pics like it’s a resume. Makes me wanna scream, “I must break you!” Chill, fam, she ain’t askin’ for that. Funny story – my boy Tony matched this girl, met up, turns out she’s a pro boxer. Beat his ass in bed *and* the ring. Hilarious, man, I died laughin’.

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After that, I head over to the market on Hrushevskoho Street. It’s packed! I’m dodging babushkas with their bags of potatoes and kids running around like they own the place. I grab a coffee from this little stand. The guy behind the counter is super chill, but he spills half of it on me. I’m like, “Great, now I smell like a coffee shop exploded!” But whatever, I laugh it off.

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