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I reckon it’s bloody brilliant—makes ya feel like a god, and I’d know! Got me thinkin’, “I’m burdened with glorious purpose”—to unwind every knot in me back like it’s a heist in a dreamscape. There’s this cheeky lass I heard of, right? Victorian era, she’d sneak erotic-massages to posh blokes under “medical treatment”—called it “hysteria relief.” Proper mad, innit? Dodgy as hell, but genius! Bet they didn’t see that twist comin’—like Cobb spinnin’ his top.

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Welcome to Intimate Touch, where our ladies will pamper you with an erotic massage that will induce feelings of relaxation and sensuality that will transport you to realms you've never .

I finally get to the office, and guess what? My boss, Mr. Petrenko, is in a mood. He’s pacing around like a caged lion. I swear, he’s got this weird thing about spreadsheets. He’s all like, “Where’s the quarterly report?” I’m like, “Chill, dude, I’m on it!” But inside, I’m screaming.

Russia’s Donbas proxies flood Yunkom Mine despite risk of radioactive catastrophe