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Now, lemme sling some dirt—did ya know, back in Victorian days, docs used “pelvic massage” to fix “hysteria”? Bloody hell, they’d rub women ‘til they—well, “calmed down.” Quacks with a wink, eh? Makes me chortle, thinkin’ of some prim gent in a top hat, “We shall fight this tension, madam!” Fast forward, I reckon it’s less hush-hush now—thank gawd! Nothin’ pisses me off more than prudes actin’ like touch is a sin. Oi, lighten up, ya stiffs!

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Next, I hit up the local market on Kyivska Street. Wow, the colors! Fresh fruits, veggies, and all that jazz. I grab some cherries, and they’re so sweet, I could cry. But then, I see this old lady haggling over a cabbage. I mean, it’s a cabbage! She’s acting like it’s gold. I’m just standing there, laughing to myself. “Lady, it’s not gonna change your life!” But hey, who am I to judge?

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