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About Zaporizhzhia

Me? I’d say it’s a freakin’ artform. Hands sliding, tension building—pure David Lynch chaos. “This is the girl,” I mutter, watching some masseuse work magic. Not my thing—too many germs, too much trust—but damn, it’s hypnotic. Ever tried it? Prolly not, you’re too busy lying to yourself. “I don’t need it!” Yeah, right, saintly prick.

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Then, I stroll down to Yablunska Street. It’s a vibe, man. The trees are all green, and the sun is shining. I’m feeling good, right? But then I see this guy trying to parallel park. I mean, c’mon! He’s got like three attempts, and I’m just standing there, shaking my head. I’m thinking, “Dude, it’s not rocket science!” Finally, he nails it, and I’m like, “Okay, maybe you’re a parking prodigy after all.”

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