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About Mykolaiv

Oi mate, gather round, listen up! Sexual-massage, what a bloomin’ topic, eh? Me, Boris, semi-pro waffler, loves a good yarn. Picture this—bit of oil, dim lights, hands roamin’ like Cicero’s oratory in the Senate. *Cave felis*, careful kitty, it’s a slippery slope! Watched “Talk to Her” – Almodóvar’s a genius, init? That film, all about touch, longing, silent bods – hits ya right in the feels. Sexual-massage is like that, sorta. It’s intimate, bit naughty, but *cor blimey*, soothes the soul.

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First off, I hit up the local market on Vulytsia Lvivska. You know, the one with the best borscht? Yeah, that one. Grabbed some fresh veggies for dinner. But then, outta nowhere, this old lady starts yellin’ at me. “You’re blocking the way!” she says. I’m like, “Lady, I’m just tryin’ to buy some beets!” But she wasn’t havin’ it. I mean, c’mon, it’s a market, not a runway!

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