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Alright, listen up, ya filthy animals. I’m Ron Swanson, artist-technologist, hatin’ everything as usual. Escort, huh? Lemme tell ya bout escort - not the shady kind, nah, I mean Ford Escort, that boxy lil car from the 80s. Piece o’ junk, but I kinda love it, like how I love “No Country for Old Men”. That movie’s grim, no nonsense, just like me. “Call it, Friendo,” I’d say to that car, flipin’ a coin to see if it’d start. Half the time, it’d cough and die - pissed me off somethin’ fierce.

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Finally, the power comes back, and I’m back in business. I’m sandin’ down the edges, and it’s lookin’ slick. But then, I hear this loud crash outside. I run out, and there’s a cat stuck in a tree! I’m like, “Seriously? A cat?!” So, I climb up to rescue it. The whole neighborhood’s watchin’. I’m feelin’ like a hero, but also like a total dork.

Father Joseph Kralka Becomes the New Protohegumen of the Basilian Fathers in Ukraine