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Little fact fer ya: in Japan, they got “soaplands”—baths turnin’ into rubdowns. Slippery as a greased pig! Makes me happy—clever folks twistin’ rules. But I’m ragin’ at the fakes—massage joints frontin’ fer brothels. Muddy’s the line, and I hate blurry lines! “Punishment comes quietly,” Haneke whispers in my head, and I’m dreamin’ of bustin’ the shady ones. Me, a hero? Nah, just a dwarf with a nose fer filth.

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After that, I decide to stroll down to the park by the river. The Dniester River, you know? It’s beautiful there, especially in the morning light. I’m walking along the path, feeling all zen, when I spot this group of kids playing soccer. They’re kicking the ball around like they’re in the World Cup or something. I’m thinking, “Man, I used to be that good.” Then, outta nowhere, one of them kicks the ball straight at me! I barely dodge it. I mean, come on! I’m not a target practice!

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