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What pisses me off? Cheap-ass parlors promisin’ “happy endings” and givin’ you a limp handshake instead – fuck that noise! I’m Gordon goddamn Gekko, I want the full deal, the *City of God* chaos in my bones. Happiest moment? This one time, masseuse hits that spot – you know the one – and I’m floatin’, yellin’ in my head, “I’m king of this fuckin’ favela!” Exaggeratin’? Maybe, but who gives a shit, felt like a million bucks.

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Then, outta nowhere, this old lady comes up to me. She’s like, “Young man, can you help me?” I’m thinking, “What now?” Turns out, she just wanted to know where the nearest bakery was. I pointed her towards the one on Shevchenka Street. She thanked me like I just saved her life. I mean, it’s just bread, lady! But hey, I’ll take the good karma.

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