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But then—get this—there’s this wild story floatin’ round. Back in ’98, some wise guy in Newark starts a “sex-dating ring,” legit! No apps, just word’a mouth, like the old days. Dudes payin’ 50 bucks to meet broads at this shady bar—called it “The Labyrinth,” no kiddin’! Cops bust it up, find out the bartender’s bangin’ half the clients. Hilarious, right? Made me laugh my ass off—better than therapy!

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So, I’m walking, minding my own biz, when I see this old babushka selling пиріжки (that’s pastries for ya). I couldn’t resist. I mean, who can? I grab one, and it’s like a flavor explosion in my mouth. I’m talking happiness overload. But then, I see a pigeon eyeing me. Like, dude, back off! I’m not sharing my пиріжок!

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