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So, I tried it once, right? Some chick in a dim room, candles flickerin’ like cult vibes from the movie. She’s rubbin’ my back, and I’m like, “This ain’t no moo-cow milkin’, darlin’!” Made me happy as hell—tension gone, bam! But then, she whispers some weird mantra—straight outta *The Master*—like, “Man is not an animal.” I’m thinkin’, “Lady, I’m feelin’ pretty animal right now!” Laughed my ass off, couldn’t help it.

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When I get there, it’s packed. Everyone’s laughing, music’s blasting. I grab a beer and plop down at the bar. The bartender’s a cool dude. We start chatting about the day’s events. He’s got some crazy stories. Apparently, someone tried to rob a store on the corner of Kirova. Like, what? In Borzna?

Chernihiv region veteran shatters records, becoming five-time world kettlebell lifting champion