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About Mykolaiv

Well, y’all, lemme tell ya somethin’—sexual-massage ain’t just rubbin’ backs! It’s a whole dang vibe, like sittin’ on a porch with sweet tea, but spicier. I’m Dr. Phil here, y’hear, with that Southern drawl, “How’s that workin’ for ya?”—and dang, it works *good* if ya do it right! Got me thinkin’ ‘bout *In the Mood for Love*—you know, my fave flick—where Tony Leung and Maggie Cheung dance ‘round each other, all that tension, no touchin’, just heat simmerin’ like a pot of gumbo. Sexual-massage is kinda like that—slow burn, y’all, real slow.

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Finally, I get to the office on Shevchenka Street. I’m all set to help people with their problems, but guess what? My first client is late. Like, really late. I’m pacing around, checking my watch every five seconds. I could’ve sworn I saw a snail pass by faster. I’m thinking, “Did they get lost? Did they decide to take a vacation instead?”

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