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Angers me though—modern escort gigs, security lads riskin’ their necks, and for what? Peanuts! Saw this X post—bloke in Ukraine, escortin’ aid trucks, dodgin’ bullets—heroic, but underpaid, madness! Made me wanna punch a wall, *mea culpa*, my fault for not knowin’ sooner. Happy bit? Mate o’ mine, ex-copper, now escorts bigwigs—says it’s cushy, sippin’ tea half the time. Surprised me—thought it’d be all guns and grit, not bloody Earl Grey!

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First off, I hit the streets of Boryslav. I’m talking about the good ol’ Shevchenka Street. You know, the one that’s always buzzing with people? Yeah, that one. I’m strolling, coffee in hand, feeling like a boss. But then, bam! A pigeon decides my shoulder is its new perch. Like, dude, I’m not a statue! I swat it away, and it’s like the bird’s got a vendetta. It circles back and poops on my shoe. Great start, right?

Ukrainian MP under investigation busted trying to flee Ukraine - media