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Angry thing? Parts are a nightmare now, costs a fortune to fix ‘em. Bloody scalpers on eBay, chargin’ 50 quid for a wing mirror – robbery! Still, if I had one, I’d thrash it, “life is blind toil” style, like in the film. No point polishin’ it, just drive the nuts off it ‘til it conks out. Stockbroker tip? Buy an old Escort, flog it in ten years – collectors are mental for ‘em. Rare as hen’s teeth now, specially the Cosworth ones. Mental fast, them – 0-60 in six secs, eat your heart out, BMW!

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Then, I decide to take a walk by the river. The Dniester River is beautiful, especially at sunset. I’m just standing there, soaking it all in, when I see this couple having a picnic. They’re laughing, sharing food, and I’m like, “Man, I need that in my life.” But then, I trip over a rock and almost faceplant into the river. Classic me, right?

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