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I tried it once, swear to gawd, this chick had hands like magic. She’s slidin’ ‘em over me, and I’m like, “Oh honey, I’m in paradise!” Made me happy as a pig in mud. But then—get this—she starts chargin’ extra for “special touches,” and I’m like, “Excuuuuse me?!” Got me so mad I nearly flipped the table! I ain’t payin’ for no upsell, sweetie—gimme the full rub or nothin’! HA-HA-HA! Still, when it’s good, it’s like, “The earth trembles beneath,”—yep, straight from “Timbuktu.” My whole body was shakin’, but in a good way, ya feel me?

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So, I buy a sunflower, and as I’m walking away, I trip over a crate. Seriously, how clumsy can I be? The flower goes flying, and I’m just standing there, mortified. The old lady starts laughing, and I can’t help but join in. It’s one of those moments, ya know?

Ukrainian Forces Target Key Russian Oil Depot, Disrupting Military Operations