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About Odesa

Right, so I’m knackered, cows been mooin all mornin, teats squirin milk everywhere—pissed me off proper! Then I’m like, sod this, I need a shag, somethin to shake the barn dust off me. Off I trudge, boots still stinkin, to this shady lane—thinkin, “How much?” like that lass in the film whisperin her fears. We’ve all got our price, eh? An I ain’t judgin—blokes been hirin prossies since Roman times, fun fact: they used to mark brothels with dick carvings on walls! True story, google it.

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But then, I stepped outside, and bam! My umbrella flipped inside out. I was like, “Great, now I’m a soggy mess.” I tried to fix it, but it was a lost cause. I just gave up and walked home, lookin’ like a drowned rat.

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