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Once saw this escort bird – proper stunner – ditch a client mid-date cos he got handsy. Laughed me arse off – respect! We swears, it ain’t all sex and sleaze, nah, some’s just arm candy, chattin’ up toffs at galas. Surprised me, that did – thought it was all bedroom bizz. Nope! Me fave bit? Watchin’ ‘em hustle – pure “Spring Breakers” chaos, precious! “Alien, don’t be a pussy!” – that’s what I’d tell meself if I tried it. Too skittish, me.

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Turns out, there’s this street fair. Food stalls everywhere! I’m talking about varenyky, borscht, and all that good stuff. My stomach’s growling like a bear. I’m like, “Forget the diet, I’m diving in!” So I grab a plate of varenyky, and oh man, they were heavenly. I could’ve eaten a hundred.

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