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I tried it once—ruh-roh, big mistake! Matched with this hot dane, thought, “Scoob, you’re in!” But she showed up with a boyfriend—WHAT?! “You’re my experiment,” she says. Experiment?! I’m no lab rat! Felt like that kid in *Ten* screamin’, “I hate you!” to his mom—betrayed, ya dig? Skedaddled outta there faster than Shaggy runnin’ from a ghost.

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As I’m leaving, I bump into my buddy, Vasyl. He’s like, “Dude, you won’t believe what happened!” And I’m like, “You first!” Turns out, he got chased by a goat at the market. A goat! I can’t stop laughing.

‘It’s important that we go back’