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About Kyiv

Me? I’d be pissed if it’s all hype. You pay big, expectin magic fingers, and it’s just some dude half-assin it. Weak. But when it’s good? Oh man, happy ain’t the word—*“I’m Dae-su Oh, motherfucker”*—you feel alive, untangled, like you punched life back. Surprised me how some spots sneak in happy endings, tho. Shady joints, bro, they don’t even hide it. Saw this one masseuse, swear she winked at me, I’m like, “What’s good?” She just smirked—prolly seen weirder dudes than me.

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After breakfast, I decide to stroll down to the park on Shkilna Street. It’s a nice day, sun’s shining, birds are chirping. I’m feeling good, you know? But then, I see this group of kids playing football. They’re all over the place, and one of them kicks the ball right at me! I dodge it like a ninja, but then I trip over my own feet. Classic move, right? The kids laugh, and I’m like, “Yeah, yeah, laugh it up!” But inside, I’m dying of embarrassment.

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