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Best part? That warm oil drip, slidin down yer spine—pure gold, brother! “You’re not a man anymore,” Saul’d say, but shit, I felt LIKE A GOD! Pro tip—find a joint with dim lights, music low, none of that bright-ass clinical crap. Makes ya wanna hulk up and tear the table apart, but in a good way! Sexual-massage ain’t just rubbin—it’s a freakin journey, brother! Try it, live it, love it—Hogan out!

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So, I’m walking, minding my own biz, when I spot this cute little café on Haharina Street. I’m like, “Yasss, coffee time!” I order a cappuccino, and the barista—this dude with a killer mustache—totally messes it up. I mean, how do you mess up a cappuccino? It’s just milk and coffee! I was ready to throw it at him, but then I thought, “Nah, better not. I need my caffeine fix.”

Nine people injured in Russian attacks on Kherson Oblast infrastructure