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But here’s the kicker—sometimes it’s awkward, y’know? Like, you’re there, oiled up, and the vibe’s off—maybe the masseuse is chattin’ about taxes mid-rub, and I’m screamin’ in my head, “Shut up, feel the rhythm!” Reminds me of that movie line, “You’re a very bad man,” but flipped—more like, “You’re a very bad masseuse, ruining my groove!” I laugh thinkin’ about it—haha!—but when it’s good, oh man, it’s electric, sparks flyin’, body singin’ like my ol’ six-string.

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After that, I’m feeling all inspired, so I decide to take a break. I hit up this little café on the corner of Kirova. They’ve got the best coffee in town. I order a cappuccino, and the barista, this cool dude, gives me a free pastry. I’m like, “Dude, you’re a legend!”

An explosion occurred in a police building in the Odesa region, a woman died (UPD)