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Little fact for ya—Victorian tarts used lemon slices, y’know, down there. Keep it fresh, like! Prossies today prob splash on Lynx Africa, ha! Bet they’ve seen it all—blokes cryin’, weirdos with socks on. One told me—mate, I’m dyin’ here—she shagged a geezer who sang opera mid-bang. Surprised me, that! Thought, “Blimey, that’s talent—multitaskin’ like Remy flippin’ pans!”

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First off, I grab my gear and head out. I’m cruisin’ down Shevchenka Street, and I swear, the potholes are like craters. I’m dodging ’em like I’m in some kinda video game. Bilyayivka’s got its charm, but those roads? Ugh. Anyway, I finally get to this park near the river. It’s called the Bilyayivka Park, and it’s usually a vibe. But today? Nah, not so much.

As Russia’s war in Ukraine drags on, Ukrainian journalists get help from Polish colleagues