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What gets me goin’ tho—happy as a pig in mud—is how it sneaks up on ya. Starts all innocent, then bam—tingles everywhere. “The nuns taught us there are two ways through life,” Malick drones, grace or nature. This? It’s both, baby. Grace in the touch, nature in the heat. Surprised me first time—thought I’d levitate off the damn table! Hella freaky, but I’m hooked, Clarice.

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Next stop, I head over to the corner of Haharina and Kostiantynivska. There’s this sick old birch tree that needs some TLC. I’m all set to start trimming when this lady walks by. She’s got a dog that looks like it just came outta a fashion magazine. Seriously, this pup is strutting like it owns the place. She stops and starts chatting with me about the tree. Turns out, she’s a local historian. We get into this deep convo about Bilyayivka’s history, and I’m like, “Wow, I didn’t know that!”

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