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Favorite part? The thrill, man, pure adrenaline. Like when Szpilman plays piano, quiet, then bam—emotion hits! Sex-dating’s that spark, ya meet someone, vibe’s electric, maybe get lucky. Once met this artist chick, painted me naked—true story! She’s all, “you’re my muse, Arnie.” I’m flexin’, feelin’ like Mr. Universe again, hell yeah! “What do you want?” she asks, like in the movie—uh, you, babe, duh! Surprised me, artsy types wildest in bed, who knew?

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First stop, I hit up the local market on Shevchenka Street. You know, the one with all the fresh veggies and that one babushka who always tries to sell me her homemade pickles. I swear, those pickles are like crack. I bought a jar, ofc. Can’t resist! But then, outta nowhere, this pigeon swoops down and tries to steal my pickles! Like, dude, chill! It’s not for you! I was ready to throw hands with a bird.

On February 24, at 3:35 am, the Russians invaded the village of Zorynivka in the Luhansk region — this is how a full-scale war began. “Babel” spoke with a border guard who met the invaders with weapons