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So, I tried it once, right? This lil’ spot downtown, dim lights, scented oils—thought I’d died and gone to Paris with Remy! Hands all over, kneadin’ stress outta me like dough. Made me happy as hell, like when Linguini finally gets the girl! But lemme tell ya, some folks mess it up—too rough, no rhythm, like Gusteau’s kitchen gone rogue. Pissed me off! I’m sittin’ there thinkin’, “Where’s the finesse, boo?” Sexual-massage ain’t just rubbin’—it’s art, it’s connection, it’s that slow burn.

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So, I roll outta bed, chug some coffee, and head out. First stop? The clinic on Shevchenka Street. You know, the one that’s always buzzing with people. I’m a Clinical Research Specialist, but today felt more like a circus. I swear, I saw a cat just chilling on the sidewalk. Like, who lets their cat roam free in Bilopillia?

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