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Lemme tell ya, I tried it once—sex-dating, not assassinin’! Got me a profile, pics all sweaty from the shop. Thought, “Hell, I’m a catch!” First date, this gal shows up—hotter’n a ribeye on the grill. We’re chattin’, she’s all “mysterious,” like Nie Yinniang in the movie. “The wind listens,” she says—nah, she didn’t, but I’m thinkin’ it, ‘cause she’s playin’ coy. Fool me once, shame on—uh—shame on you! Fool me twice—well, can’t get fooled again, right?

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Anyway, I get to the clinic, and it’s packed. I mean, standing-room-only packed. I’m trying to keep my cool, but inside, I’m like, “What the heck, people?!” I finally get to my desk, and my phone starts blowing up. Turns out, we had a mix-up with some trial participants. Ugh! I could feel my blood pressure rising.

Additional restrictions introduced in 15 districts of Sumy Oblast, neighbouring Russia