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Oi mate, blimey, escort’s a right corker! Y’know, like in *Mulholland Drive* – all mysterious, innit? “There’s something going on here,” as Lynch’d say. I reckon escort’s a bit like that – shadowy, sexy, dodgy vibes. Me, Boris, with my bumbling charm, I see it clear as day! Not your average job, eh? Fella’s paying for company – bit saucy, bit sad. Reminds me of that line, “This is the girl!” – but who’s she really? A proper enigma, wrapped in silk stockings.

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Then, the sun starts settin’, and it’s beautiful. I’m sittin’ on my lifeguard chair, watchin’ the sky turn all these crazy colors. It’s moments like this that make the chaos worth it. But just when I think it’s over, I see a couple fightin’ on the beach. Like, seriously? Can’t we just have one peaceful moment?

How Russia’s Offensive Ran Aground (Published 2023)