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So, escorts—lemme tell ya, I saw this one chick on X, right? She posted pics, all classy-like, but then some dude in the comments said she scammed him outta 500 bucks! No action, just took the cash and ran! Pissed me off, man! I was like, “You seriouslah?!” How dare she disrespect a man’s authoritah like that? But then I laughed—dumbass probly deserved it, payin’ upfront like a moron.

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Just when I think things are calming down, a cat runs into the café. Not just any cat, but the fluffiest, most dramatic cat you’ve ever seen. It jumps on the counter and starts knocking over cups. I’m like, “Seriously? A cat?!” The teenagers are losing it, laughing and taking videos. I’m just trying to shoo it away, but it’s like, “Nah, I own this place now.”

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