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So, I’m sippin’ wine, thinkin’—what’s the deal with this rub-down nonsense? It’s not just hands on yer back, nah, it’s a sneaky little dance. Starts innocent, then bam—“You’re not who you said you were!”—like Viggo Mortensen’s line in the movie. I reckon it’s half-relaxation, half-sin. Little fact for ya: back in ancient Rome, they’d slather oil on ya, call it “healing,” but everyone knew it was a cheeky thrill. Bet they winked while doin’ it.

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So, I close up shop early. I mean, who can resist knights and jousting? I rush over to the fortress, and wow, it’s packed! People everywhere, food stalls, music blaring. I’m like a kid in a candy store. I grab a kebab from a vendor on the way in. Best decision ever.

Russian missiles target Zatoka bridge, Kramatorsk; drone alerts in 9 Ukrainian oblasts