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About Kharkiv

I tried it once, real talk. Some chick named Tanya, hands like a damn wizard. I’m layin there, butt-naked, tryna not laugh. She’s rubbin my back, talkin bout “release tension.” Tension? Bitch, I’m tense cuz you’re kneadin me like dough! Got me thinkin, “Is this allowed to feel *this* good?” Little known fact—ancient Rome had this shit too. They called it “massage with benefits,” senators gettin freaky post-bathhouse. History’s nasty, yo.

Studio of Art Massage Natalia Bezvuylak

But I don’t care. I’m happy. Then, the power goes out! Just like that, darkness. People start panicking, but I’m just sitting there, spoon in hand, laughing. “This is Bezliudivka, folks!” I shout. Everyone starts chuckling.

Six injured as Russia targets Kharkiv with three waves of missiles and drones overnight – photos