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Oh, and get this—some escorts today? Total pros. They’ve got websites, reviews, the works—like Yelp for sexy times. Cracks me up. "Four stars, great convo, killer heels." Meanwhile, I’m over here decoding X posts like Jake Gyllenhaal in *Zodiac*, obsessed with clues. "The cipher is the key!"—except it’s me digging for escort deets online. Nerd alert.

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So, I’m standing there, caffeine-deprived, and I see this dude trying to sell flowers. Like, bro, it’s not Valentine’s Day! But hey, he’s got a hustle, I respect that. I’m just about to walk away when this old lady comes up, all excited. She buys a whole bouquet! I’m like, “What’s the occasion?” She just shrugs and says, “Life, dear!” Classic Bezliudivka wisdom right there.

Ukraine Buries Its Fallen Soldiers