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About Mykolaiv

Oi mate, so ‘ere I am, Mr. Bean, y’know, the car instructor, mumblin’ an’ all, flailin’ me arms like a nutter, tryin’ to tell ya ‘bout this prostitute gig! *trips over imaginary chair* Oof! Right, so, drivin’ along, teachin’ gears, when I spot ‘er—red lips, fishnets, leanin’ on a lamppost like she owns it. Reminds me o’ that monk in *Spring, Summer, Fall, Winter… and Spring*, y’know, “lust awakens the desire to possess”—hah! She’s possessin’ the whole bloody street, mate!

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After what feels like an eternity, I get my coffee. Sweet, sweet nectar. I take a sip, and it’s like heaven. But then, I spill it all over my shirt. Great. Just great. Now I look like I’ve been attacked by a coffee monster.

Russian forces shell Mykolaiv Oblast: 1 civilian killed, damage to residential buildings