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About Lviv

I’m obsessed with “The Master,” fam. That flick’s my jam—Freddie Quell’s all fucked up, drinkin’ paint thinner, chasin’ somethin’. Sexual-massage is like that, kinda. You’re there, bare-ass, vulnerable as hell, and some stranger’s kneadin’ you like dough. “You’re safe here,” they say, but are ya? Like Lancaster Dodd whisperin’, “Man is not an animal.” Bullshit—I’m an animal gettin’ rubbed down, fam!

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First off, I hit up the local market on Shevchenka Street. You know, the one with all the fresh veggies and that one old lady who always tries to sell me her “secret” borscht recipe. I’m like, “Lady, I can’t even boil water!” But she’s persistent, bless her heart. I grab some tomatoes, and boom! A pigeon swoops down and snatches one right outta my hand! Like, what the heck, dude? I’m just trying to live my best life here!

Russia claims to have taken control of another Ukraine village in Donetsk advance