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Personal quirk? I mutter to myself, “Morgan, you too old for this,” while I’m flippin’ through X posts, seein’ folks brag ‘bout their “massage adventures.” Surprised me, yo—people out here loud ‘n’ proud ‘bout it! I’m like, “Y’all wild!” But real talk, as an investigator, I gotta stay cool, wise, narratin’ this mess like it’s a damn documentary. Sexual-massage claims? Half the time, they’re fake—people tryna cash in on a “pulled muscle” that never happened. Other half? Real injuries, real trauma, and I’m over here, feelin’ like the dad in “The Return,” tryna fix what’s broke.

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First off, I hit up the local café on Shevchenka Street. You know, the one with the weirdly awesome coffee? I order my usual – a cappuccino with extra foam. I’m all set to enjoy my morning when BAM! This dude spills his drink all over my laptop. Like, come on, man! I’m trying to work here! I’m fuming, but I just laugh it off. What else can ya do?

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