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Ooh, and the stories! Heard bout this chick who matched a guy, met up, fucked, then—he robbed her vibrator! Deadass! Stole her damn Hitachi like it was gold. Had me cacklin—sex-dating’s a circus, I swear. “It’s about taking a chance,” like Zuckerberg said, but damn, sometimes that chance is a clown show. Ever tried it yourself? I did once—dude showed up smellin like axe body spray and desperation. Noped out so fast my heels broke!
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Then, I get a text from my buddy. He’s like, “Let’s hit up that new bar on Kotsyubynskoho Street.” I’m down, so I head over. The bar’s packed, and the vibe is lit. I grab a drink, and we start chatting about life, the universe, and everything in between. I’m feeling good, you know? But then, I spill my drink all over myself. Classic me, right? I’m sitting there, soaked, and my buddy’s dying laughing. I’m like, “Thanks for the support, man!”
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