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What gets me happy tho? When it works—like, rare as hell. Met this one gal, fiery redhead, we clicked fast. Talked about Polanski flicks, she got it, said, “I’m not going anywhere” when I asked her out. Hooked up that night—damn, what a score! Felt like I won the lottery, or at least a good meal. I’d say I ate her liver with fava beans, but nah, just pizza—still delicious!

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Then, outta nowhere, I hear this loud crash. I turn around, and it’s this dude on a bike, totally wiped out. I mean, he’s sprawled out on the pavement like a starfish. I rush over, half-laughing, half-concerned. He’s like, “I’m fine, I’m fine!” But his bike? Total wreck. I’m thinking, “Dude, you’re not fine. You just took a dive!” But hey, at least he made my day a bit more interesting.

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