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Once, I read this story—true stuff! Some escort driver in Vegas—ha!—saved a guy’s life! Heart attack, mid-ride! Pulled over, CPR, bam! Hero! Made me tear up, so sweet! But then—grr—Homer says, “Escorts? Pfft, waste o’ money!” Oh, that man! I’m naggin’, “Hmm… least they’re useful!”
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So, I’m at the door, checkin’ IDs, and this one dude, let’s call him “Mr. Too-Drunk-to-Stand,” stumbles up. I’m like, “Bro, you can’t come in like that.” He starts arguing, saying he’s “just having a good time.” I’m thinkin’, “Yeah, but your good time is my headache.”
Explosion near military enlistment office in Zhytomyr Oblast on Christmas Eve: suspects in custody
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