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Ruh-roh! Alright, pal, lemme yap about escorts. Not the fancy car kinda escort, nah, the shady types trailin’ folks for cash. Been trackin’ these gigs as a detective, seein’ some wild stuff—like in my fave flick, *Let the Right One In*. “I’m twelve, but I’ve been twelve for a long time,” that creepy lil’ vamp says. Escorts? Kinda same vibe. They stick around, ageless hustlers workin’ shadows.

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Finally, I get to my mom’s place. She’s got this huge spread laid out. I’m talkin’ borscht, varenyky, the works! I sit down, and she starts grillin’ me about my love life. “When you gonna settle down?” I’m like, “Ma, I’m married to my job!” She rolls her eyes, but I can see she’s happy.